He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
