every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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