You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize