I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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