the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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