That's intense
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
