Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
