i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
