new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
