Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
