it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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