Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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