There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the day after is always just damage control
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
