dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
