Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
