remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
