well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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