Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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