walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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