i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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