just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
