it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize