Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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