Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize