I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
