tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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