Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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