I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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