I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Damn victory sex feels great
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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