You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
