your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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