Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
