would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
