Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
