I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
