i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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