I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
