this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
