o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
wow bdsm is so cute
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
