Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
