47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What a dumb baby whore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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