why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Randomize
