I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
