I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
