Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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