The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize