Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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