After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
