Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
