I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
