so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
