I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize