don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
