my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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