Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
