about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
