Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
