i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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