There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you had me at cake vodka
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize