So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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