I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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