Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
