we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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