all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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