very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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